Discovering The Real You | Dante Duval Barfield Ep. 90

“Identity cannot be found or fabricated but emerges from within when one has the courage to let go.”

Doug Cooper

Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs are sure to suppress the true potential that lies within us all.

When we’re young we quickly learn what the environment around us deems acceptable. Instinctually we mold our identity into what we THINK this environment would want to see. As time goes on, we forget to explore a reason why.

When we do this, we are bound to fall into a life that is different than what we want. Notice I didn’t say worse. There are a lot of people working great jobs, making good money, wondering why they still don’t feel fulfilled.

It may be because fulfillment comes from within, not without.

My guest today, Dante Duval Barfield knows all about that pressure.

He is a licensed professional counselor based out of the city of Philadelphia. Dante's therapy background is based on diversity, identity, and trauma. Rather than pathologies our life experience, he explores how all of our identities and past intersect within the realms of mental health. 

This is only the current chapter in a story that started with uncertainty and exploration. Growing up as an African American in Philadelphia, cue Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song, attention to mental health was taboo, to say the least.

It’s a feeling I’m sure many of us can relate too. We get caught up in the aesthetics of who we think we’re supposed to be and forget to explore the things we actually like. Dante accurately observes a cycle we’ve all likely fallen into at some point in our lives when he says:

“I Was Hiding Who I Really Was.”

Dante Duval Barfield

The hard part about getting out of such a confined situation is the battle that happens within. Many of us get stuck, unable to hit that reset button, fearful of what’s waiting for us on the other side. This is where Dante also says we need to reframe our thinking.

“It’s not resetting. It’s Upgrading”

Dante Duval Barfield

I like the idea of upgrading who we are rather than the thought of starting over, don't you?

Instead of remaining paralyzed in the fear of starting over, what if we simply added to the foundation of who we’ve become so far? Just like the caterpillar secludes itself into darkness before emerging as a butterfly, you too are allowed to change.

Let’s call it; You 2.0

Dante takes us to therapy in this one, and I mean that in the best way possible. Hop into the episode and join us as we discuss letting go of our trauma, being fair when we compare ourselves to others, and fully embracing and being okay with who we are!

Email: UnorthodoxTherapist@gmail.com

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Podcast Page: https://theunorthodoxtherapist.buzzsprout.com/

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This Podcast was filmed in the studio at ComRADery: A collaborative Work Space in Greenville, SC. If you live in the Greenville area, connect with ComRADery and find out how you can try the space for FREE! Be sure to mention you found them through the No Rain… No Rainbows Podcast!

I hope you enjoy this episode of No Rain… No Rainbows.

#LetsGrow

“The Modern Man” is a series focused on discussing the challenges and obstacles men face in today’s society. It is an open forum of discussion where thoughts, strategies and ideas of men living a happy and fulfilled life are explored. The Modern Man aims to create a community of men not only sharing and connecting on a deeper level, but also exploring how to thrive and live a happy and fulfilled life. This is done through intentional conversations strategically aimed at issues that men face in today’s society.