Shame and Healthy Sexuality | Natasha Helfer | #115

Today in this powerful episode, certified sex therapist Natasha Helfer joins Dave Schramm and Liz Hale to discuss the complex relationship between sexual health, faith, and cultural messages. Natasha sheds light on the damaging effects of sexual shame, the influence of purity culture, and the importance of open communication around intimacy. She offers actionable advice for parents, couples, and individuals to foster healthier sexual relationships, overcome shame, and approach intimacy with compassion and understanding. This conversation is filled with insights to help listeners navigate their sexual and relational well-being.

About Natasha:

The owner and founder of Symmetry Counseling. Natasha Helfer received her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Brigham Young University and her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Friends University. She also received her certifications as a sex therapist and sex therapist supervisor from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). 

Natasha is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist in Kansas and Utah. She is also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. 

Insights:

• Natasha: "...sexual shame is a public health crisis. It really is a crisis. And living here in Utah, we've got, you know, air crisis. You know, our air is kind of polluted, and we passed the thing about pornography being a crisis. I mean, you know, there's lots of ideas about what is a crisis, but I really, truly believe that sexual shame hits. So deep and can affect so many things, physical things, like vaginismus, like erections, like stomach issues, you know, like indigestion, like immune immunity systems. It can affect our emotional health. You know, if we have sexual shame, it can lead to depression, anxiety, it can lead to scrupulosity and OCD."
• Liz: "Those who have chosen to not have sex before marriage, or at least not in this relationship, they wanted to say that and to be really instructive of them to someone right, a professional or a parent or a friend an auntie, to say, let's talk about what you can expect. Let's talk about really giving yourself some time on that even, I think you said three to six months, maybe Natasha right to really get your bodies adjusted and how this is going to be, and ways to converse about your sexuality and your preferences. Don't expect that just to take off on that first night. There's a lot of disappointment, a lot of shame. I think that comes from that not being what you're what you think your partner wanted."
• Dave: "We talked a little bit about parenting and the approach the parents take, they have to be proactive and intentional, thoughtful about the messages. Because, Natasha, you talked about you can take, you know, one direction and induce more shame, or it can be a positive, uplifting experience for parents that they've got to be willing and you have to talk about this topic. So I think, yes, first, I think it starts with parents and when children are young, and then keeping it it's not a one and done conversation, keeping that conversation going. And yes, absolutely. Couples before marriage, got to be able to talk and then keep the conversation going afterwards. It can't be something that all sudden. It's just silent and we don't talk about afterwards, or that was uncomfortable, or what happened there, and it's now I'm embarrassed and the shame cycle, wow, we've got to be able to, just as a broader society be able to talk and share and be open and honest in our conversation."

Links:

https://www.natashahelfer.com/

https://symcounseling.com/

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Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

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Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com 

This episode provides a compassionate and practical guide for anyone seeking to build healthier perspectives around sexuality, reduce shame, and improve intimacy in their relationships. Don't miss this deeply insightful discussion!

It's often said that marriage takes work. The Stronger Marriage Connection podcast wants to help because a happy marriage is worth the effort. USU Family Life Professor Dr. Dave Schramm and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Liz Hale talk with experts about the principles and practices that will enhance your commitment, compassion, and emotional connection. 

More than ever before, marriages face obstacles, from the busyness of work and daily hassles to disagreements and digital distractions. It's no wonder couples sometimes drift apart, growing resentful, lonely, and isolated.

The Utah Marriage Commission invites you to listen and discover new ways to strengthen and protect your marriage connection today!