How can we give feedback that people actually use?

Episode 204: Hosts Richard Kyte and Scott Rada explore why so much of what we call “constructive criticism” fails — and what it takes to make it truly effective.

Many of us dread the annual performance review, and with good reason. As Kyte points out, a well-run workplace shouldn’t save observations and advice for one stressful meeting a year.

“Good coaching is constant,” he says. “If you have a good manager, you already know what’s working and what needs improvement, because it’s an ongoing conversation.” Feedback, he explains, should be specific, timely and delivered in the spirit of helping someone grow — not just checking a box.

The hosts also draw lessons from outside the office. Rada shares a story of baseball great Chipper Jones, who was challenged early in his career by coach Don Baylor to correct flaws in his swing. Jones said he appreciated the directness because it showed someone cared enough to help him improve. That’s the mark of effective feedback — being clear, constructive and genuinely invested in the other person’s success.

Of course, not all feedback lands well. Many people simply seek confirmation rather than honest critique. As journalist Jason Feifer has written, it’s crucial to tailor your approach based on where someone is in their process — whether they need a collaborator, a reactor or a refiner.

The episode also tackles some tricky ethical questions: Does feedback always need to be gentle? Should it sometimes hurt? How do you know when to stop offering advice, especially if someone repeatedly ignores it? The hosts provide guidance on how to adjust your approach according to the person, the context and your intended outcome.

Scott Rada is a digital strategist with Lee Enterprises, and Richard Kyte is the director of the D.B. Reinhart Institute for Ethics in Leadership at Viterbo University in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Kyte is also the author of "Finding Your Third Place: Building Happier Communities (and Making Great Friends Along the Way)."

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