Life Examined

Brad Stulberg, author of Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing — Including You shares his observations of humanity, resourcefulness, and community after his hometown of Asheville, North Carolina was hit by Hurricane Helene. The devastating storm left residents without power, water, and communications for days on end.  

In the aftermath of the storm, neighbors sprang into action by sharing, gathering, and helping each other wherever they could. Stulberg shares this anecdote about observing his community:

“People came together like I had never seen before. And for those that aren't familiar with western North Carolina, Asheville is a very blue political place, but the surrounding areas are quite red… All of that just completely went away, it was just pure connection on a human level.”

Stulberg likens this experience of hope and resilience to the concept of "tragic optimism," as described by  Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s book Man's Search for Meaning. Frankl argues  that even in the  face of pain and despair, we can choose to remain hopeful and optimistic. “We need to be able to look these tragedies in the eye,” Stulberg explains, “expect that they're going to happen and at the same time be optimistic – trudge forward with a hopeful attitude. And Frankel would argue, not in spite of those tragedies, but actually because of them. There's so much in life that is hard, what is going to sustain us through the hard times is also embracing the beautiful when it's there and holding on to it.” 

All proceeds from the sale of Brad Stulberg’s book, Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing — Including You, through the end of the year will go towards relief funds helping those impacted by Hurricane Helene in Western North Carolina.

Stulberg, who frequently writes and speaks about mental health and human potential, also addresses his concerns about a current (and well-documented) crisis of masculinity. He does this by sharing some of the latest data on mental health and friendships. “Men are four times as likely than women to die by suicide, right now,” Stulberg tells us. “Nearly half of male teens say that they've never dated — almost double the rate of previous generations. 30 years ago, a majority of young men said that they had over six good friends. Today, the majority of young men say they have only three friends and 15% of young men report having no close friends.” 

While there is no single cause for “the increase in loneliness and the male loss of status or feeling like you don't matter,” Stulberg highlights one observation he’s made, and that’s the change in youth sports. Once a community-driven, recreational outlet,  “youth sports [have] become increasingly professionalized now. In many areas, you have to pay to play, it's all about travel teams. So these outlets that men used to have to feel really good about themselves are harder to access for a lot of folks.” 

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Andrew Solomon, writer and professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University Medical Center, recently penned an article for The New Yorker titled “Has Social Media Fuelled a Teen-Suicide Crisis? ” In his piece, Soloman investigates what’s fuelling the the spike in suicide among Americans between the ages of ten and twenty-four. Quoting the work of Dr. Judith Edersheim at Harvard, Solomon says: “It’s like taking little children and putting them in an all night casino where they serve chocolate flavored bourbon. It's designed to be addictive, it is addictive and that addiction has devastating consequences.” 

Solomon interviews dozens of parents and shares the poignant and heart wrenching accounts of how so many of them were totally unaware of the online world in which their children were living. As one father who had lost his son to suicide explained to Solomon, “I was, I thought, such a good father. I checked around the house every night. I locked the doors. I made sure my children were safe. I didn't know that the lion was already inside the house.”

Solomon further explains that this all has so much to do with the insidious nature of the algorithms, which feed not on vulnerabilities, but bring about a sense of normalization.  If a kid looks at content about being a little depressed, Solomon tells us that “then they start showing you people who are more depressed. “They want to hook you,” he continues, “what they send you has to gradually become more extreme and eventually you escalate to people who are killing themselves on camera and posting it on social media platforms while they are doing it.” 

Parents, educators and lawmakers are working hard to bring attention to this; some argue that social media is only “only one layer” in the crisis.  

Lawsuits have made their way to the Supreme Court but so far, Solomon informs us: “The Supreme Court has refused to overturn Section 230. The legislative work that was supposed to have an effect on placing constraints on the operations of social media companies, have all got stuck in committee, despite the ‘bipartisan agreement that there need to be restraints.’”

Solomon advises parents to educate themselves and talk to their kids, though inevitably the younger generation who has grown up with technology is going to be ahead of the game.  “The idea of being able to monitor all of what your children are doing is a ludicrous fantasy,” Solomon admits. “So I think that's all not very effective, but you can at least be aware and talk to your children.” 

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​This episode with Raynor Winn was originally broadcast, October 8th, 2023

KCRW’s Jonathan Bastian talks with Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist who has spent decades studying Buddhism, meditation, and the incorporation of Eastern thought into her Western practice.  She holds a PhD in clinical psychology, and has spent dozens of years studying Buddhism and meditation. Brach, one of the most sought-after Buddist teachers in America, explains why the stillness of meditation is “exquisite,” and how the simplest of acts may be the purest. Her books include “Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha,” “True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart,” and most recently, “Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness.”

​This episode with Rabbi Steve Leder was originally broadcast, May 28th 2022

Potawatomi botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer discusses the philosophy of a “gift economy” in her latest book The Serviceberry,  expanding on the theme of reciprocity from her 2013 book Braiding Sweetgrass.  

At a time of increasing consumerism and declining natural resources, gifting, Kimmerer reminds us, is a truly renewable resource. She draws on the example of the serviceberry and its remarkable ability to give: 

“In my Potawatomi language, the word for berry ‘min’ is also the root word for gift and for gift giving. So when you see them hanging there ... They're just meant to attract us, right? And they do! They have what we need in sweetness, flavor, and calories. Every time I pick berries, it just opens that sense of ‘I didn't work for these. I didn't deserve these. I don't own these, and yet here they are in my bowl.’”

The serviceberry works as a simple metaphor for Kimmerer to explain why the “gift economy” is so ecologically important. Kimmerer explains that a small dish of berries can multiply with every exchange. Its currency isn’t measured in dollars and cents, but in the sense of community and relationships that gifting and gratitude fosters. 

“The goods and services that economics are meant to provide for us, they are material, they are the things that we need in order to live,” Kimmerer continues. “Those are often commodities, but the things that we hold most precious, like pure water, the taste of wild berries, and the regard of our neighbors — the trust of our neighbors — those can never be commodified. For those, we have a ‘gift economy.’” 

The Serviceberry is an invitation to think about how we live our lives. Drawing on native beliefs and traditions, Kimmerer explains that the abundant fruits of the humble serviceberry serve as a sweet reminder of our interdependence. It reminds us that all flourishing is mutual, “from bees, to birds, to microbes, to us.” 

With the limitations of resources and the finite nature of water and minerals — we should strive for an “economy of balance rather than growth.”

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​This episode with Dacher Keltner was originally broadcast, February 4th, 2023

Leah Penniman is one farmer fighting to change that. Penniman explains that there’s a rising generation of Black and brown farmers reexamining their relationship to the land and reclaiming the farming and agricultural practices once held by their ancestors.  

Penniman, who is the co-founder of Soul Fire Farm, says that “Black farmers had already declined from 14% of the nation's farmers in the early 1900s to just about 1% today.”  As a result of racism and discrimination Penniman says, “millions of acres of land were lost out of the Black community, and with that so much intergenerational wealth and knowledge.” 

Penniman says her mission with Soul Fire Farms was to help end racism and injustice in the food system and explore and embrace of her own ancestral heritage to the land and agriculture; “nature as a source of spiritual connection permeates African diasporic thinking and very much informs the way we [operate] at Soul Fire, but also [how] the broader rising generation are conceptualizing our relationship to the land.”  

“The food system pertains to all of us. All of us eat, so all of us are connected. All of us are complicit, but also all of us have these immense opportunities to contribute to change as consumers in the food system.”

For over 20 years the Reverend Lennox Yearwood has also been fighting for racial and environmental justice. Born in Shreveport, Louisiana, Rev. Yearwood has always had a strong affinity for music; “all music, particularly hip-hop and jazz. R&B, the Blues… for me, music was really more a pathway to the soul, just a way to escape. Music is so uplifting, it's so encouraging, it's just so beautiful — particularly with instruments and singing.”  

Rev. Yearwood is President and CEO of the Hip Hop Caucus — a national nonprofit, nonpartisan organization which began in 2004 and leverages hip-hop culture to encourage young people to vote and participate in the democratic process. Rev. Yearwood’s passion for music ties into his environmental activism and his work on human rights issues in the Gulf Coast region after Hurricane Katrina. 

“Hip-hop’s roots are based in people who have been put in sometimes very difficult situations. They're using their cultural expression to shape their political experience. They’re talking about what they're going through, and they're trying to use music and culture to explain and sometimes bring light to situations.”  

“Chuck D said that [hip-hop] ‘became the CNN for those communities.’ And so … listening to that, hearing that music, and hearing the power behind it definitely drew me into wanting to be a part of it.” 

More: Chuck D on creating ‘naphic grovels,’ embracing mistakes (Press Play, 2023)

Rev. Yearwood is actively involved in seeking environmental justice.  He continually highlights racial disparities and heightens awareness of the social and economic issues that negatively impact Black people.  The Hip Hop Caucus’ short film Underwater Projects sheds light on the coastal urban flooding happening in Norfolk, Virginia — including its effects on a historically Black public housing community.  

Eternally hopeful and with a strong sense of faith, Rev. Yearwood is optimistic that things can be done to make life better: “When we come together, we do well. That's my prayer, that's what keeps me excited, motivated, and lets me know that at some point in time… That the power of humanity is just an amazing, beautiful thing.” 

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

​This episode with George Bonanno was originally broadcast September 17th, 2023

The concepts of justice and virtue are central to author Ryan Holiday’s latest book, Right Thing, Right Now: Good Values. Good Character. Good Deeds. Holiday explores how the ancient Greek philosophers Marcus Aurelius, Aristotle, and Seneca sought to provide a more pragmatic approach to happiness and virtue… And whether those same principles can impact how we live today. “The Stoics,” Holiday says, “are all about focusing on what's in your control.”

In her book The Small and the Mighty; Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, author and former high school teacher Sharon McMahon emphasizes that now is not the time for apathy: “We get so caught up in Trump vs. Harris, that it's easy to forget that our real lives are being deeply impacted by the people who literally work on the other side of town. … We do not have to wait for the right leader to win an election.”

McMahon says hope is a key element in fighting any anxiety we may have about the election. “Hope is not a feeling that you wait to experience,” McMahon tells us. “Hope is not attached to an individual. It is not attached to the outcome of an election.”  

“Hope is a choice that we can make,” she continues, “Hope is an orientation of the spirit. In the words of Bryan Stevenson: ‘It's an orientation of our spirit, and we do not have the luxury of giving up hope.’ Because hope is our only chance at making positive change in the United States and in the world.”

The deep political divisions in America have fostered a belief that as a nation we have become increasingly tribal. In fact, if you listen to any pundit, “tribalism” is used in a negative way.

In his new book TRIBAL: How the Cultural Instincts That Divide Us Can Help Bring Us Together, author Michael Morris explains why the words triablism or tribe are not only misused, but also misunderstood. Tribes used to be referred to as “an enduring community,” Morris says. “During the era of colonial expansion and imperialism, tribalism started taking on a negative connotation involving notions of stasis and primitivism.” 

“The distinctive way of social life in our species is living in very large communities that transcend kith and kin, that are that are glued together by shared ideas, by shared beliefs, otherwise known as culture,”  Morris affirms. “And so, large groups held together by cultural glue is the human form of social organization. Otherwise known as tribal living.”

Morris highlights that tribes have played a crucial and positive role in human evolution.  Tribes are, “what enable us to collaborate intellectually. And almost everything impressive that humans have built has come from intellectual collaboration.” 

Tribes also facilitate the sharing of knowledge as Morris further imparts: “Today, 99% of what you and I know is not something that we figured out directly ourselves. It's the knowledge that we inherited. We can not only do impressive things based on other people's knowledge, but we can collaborate with other members of our culture because we have this shared legacy of knowledge in common with them.” 

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​This episode with Oliver Burkeman was originally broadcast October 27, 2024

Journalist and author Oliver Burkeman discusses the complexities of happiness, well-being, and productivity — emphasizing the futility of seeking a single solution. 

Burkeman offers guidance on why we shouldn’t sacrifice the very essence of living in search of perfection and doing it all. Treasuring those simple moments in daily life, which doesn’t mean settling for less, Burkemans says, “is a precondition for a really full life.”

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

This week Kate Murphy, journalist and author of “You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters,” sheds some light on the value of true friendships, why quality is often more important than quantity and why it is so important to give time and space to the friendships we truly care about. 

​This episode with Kate Murphy was originally broadcast June 5th, 2021

In his book Experiencing Sound: The Sensation of Being author Lawrence Kramer writes that “sound is an agent of transformation.” Throughout human history, “sound is one of the fundamental phenomena that links us to the sense of inhabiting and sharing a world.” Of all the human senses, contrary to what we might think, sound is “a uniquely empowered form of sensory experience that links us to our lives and our being more intimately than sight does.”  

“Sound is always inside us as well as outside us, and heightened experiences of sound really take that vibratory presence and amplify it so that our most intense experiences of sound are really whole body experiences.” 

Carolyn Korsmeyer, research professor of philosophy at the University at Buffalo and author of several books including, Making Sense of Taste; Food and Philosophy explains why there’s so much more to taste than flavor. “Taste,” Korsmeyer says, “deserves greater respect and attention.” In addition to providing physical pleasure, eating and drinking bear symbolic and aesthetic value in the human experience.   

“One of the prejudices against taste is that it's all in your mouth,” Korsmeyer shares. “It's only about the flavor that is happening in your taste buds right now. But it is usually outer-directed as well. I am not just tasting, I'm tasting a strawberry. I'm not just drinking, I'm drinking a Coca-Cola — or a beer, or a glass of wine, [etc.] So taste, people think of it as being entirely subjective. By that, I think they mean it's just yours, but it really isn't.” 

She also talks about the evocative nature of the human touch. Korsmeyer argues that touch, along with being psychologically beneficial, can offer a deeper and perhaps even spiritual connection. “When you are in the presence of something very old, or very special, or [something] that belonged to someone whom you have an attachment to and you touch it, you are, in a sense, feeling that age. That specialness, that person … There's a proximity and an intimacy that touch permits that I think is often overlooked.”

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

This week Judson Brewer psychiatrist, neuroscientist at Brown University and author of “Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind” addresses how we can recognize certain behaviors that trigger anxiety disorders. Continually worrying feeds into an anxiety habit loop and the more we worry, the more anxious we become.   

Elephant scientist and author Caitlin O’Connell has spent the last 30 years in Namibia’s Etosha National Park studying elephants. Amongst the many things O’Connell’s observed is the value and effort elephants place on greeting, playing, and communicating with each other. These are behaviors which O’Connell has observed could help us understand ourselves better. 

“The most powerful thing that struck me in the beginning,” O’Connell says, “is the importance of greeting. They may have only been separated for a few minutes, because the matriarch is older and slower, and she took a little longer to get to the waterhole than the rest of the group. All of a sudden [once she arrives] they have a huge greeting ceremony for her. Each one will place their trunk in her mouth and they get all excited and flap their ears. Also, for elephants, part of the greeting is urinating and defecating because they get so excited … But just seeing all of these rituals that we can see in our own lives and the importance of them, it's always a reminder to me that, ‘wow, we take some of these things for granted, that they don't.’”

O’Connell, a conservation biologist at Harvard Medical School and award-winning author of Wild Rituals: 10 Lessons Animals Can Teach Us About Connection, Community, and Ourselves, has specifically focused on researching the ways elephants communicate with each other — including the intriguing ground-based vibrations of an elephant’s “rumble.” 

“For a long time we knew that elephants emit these low frequency rumbles in the range of 20 hertz for a female, 10 hertz for a male,” O’Connell tells us. “They communicate in this way so that [their sounds] travel long distances … Those signals are something that they use to coordinate.”

Perhaps the most touching and moving ritual O’Connell describes, is how one elephant will grieve the loss of a family member: “They would touch the bones in a way that it wasn't like a salt lick — like [the way that] you see some animals sucking on bones of other species — [theirs] was more a tactile exploration. They would take the end of their trunk and press it down [for example] on the hip of this individual [elephant].” 

“He [the elephant] would take the sand, a little bit moist as it hasn't been that long since this [other] elephant passed away, and he would take the sand and press it against his chest and press it behind his ears in such a delicate way that it was almost as if he was trying to carry him. It was really compelling. I just have never seen that before.”

This week Peter Wohlleben, renowned German forester and author of  “The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate,” talks about the age-old connection between humans and the forest and encourages us to take notice. Wohlleben says that research indicates sitting under a tree or ‘forest bathing’ is beneficial for our health - it can reduce blood pressure and help us to stay calm and relax. 

This week Jamil Zaki, professor of Psychology at Stanford University and author of “Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness,” talks about our need to rebrand hope as a culture. ‘Hope,’  Zaki says, is the idea that things could turn out better than we might otherwise be led to believe and suggests ways and strategies we can take to combate our own cynical perspectives. 

*This episode originally aired on November 12, 2022.

Jonathan Bastian talks with Lauren Ober, producer, podcast host and executive producer of The Loudest Girl In The World shares her personal journey of her later-in-life autism diagnosis.

Later, Francesca Happe Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at King's College London about advances and autism diagnosis and how that has impacted the way society sees neuro-divergency?

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

According to philosopher Lorraine Besser: “There is this notion that we have, that once we get to the end goal we'll experience fulfillment. [We think] that justifies making all these sacrifices to [our] day to day lives in pursuit of this kind of elusive goal.”  

Besser, professor of philosophy at Middlebury College and author of  The Art of the Interesting; What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It argues that there’s an overlooked and important element to leading a good life called “psychological richness.” Besser says, “what makes psychologically rich experiences distinct is that they're not always pleasant.” 

“The good life,” Besser argues, “is not always going to be this perfect, safe, [and] happy one. But the good life is going to be a life that involves challenges and putting yourself in uncomfortable places.” Besser explains further that this is not a matter of reframing the difficulties and obstacles. “Many of us feel that, when we're experiencing painful feelings, there's only really two routes available,” Besser shares. “Either we've just got to block them out and [not] let them invade our lives, or we've got to somehow turn them around and make them good.” 

Instead, Besser tells us, “there is another really important way. We can just sit with them and allow ourselves to feel them. Those difficulties and the uncomfortableness will prompt the kind of cognitive engagement we're looking for, if you allow it to sink in.”

A “good life,” involves embracing all emotions. Even if those little surprises are unpleasant and might (on the surface) make us feel less happy, they are all part of life. According to Besser, “they don't have to interfere with our living good lives, so we can embrace them and experience value from them.” 

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

This week Esther Perel, psychotherapist, bestselling author and the host of the podcast “Where Should We Begin?” talks about a sexual recession. Perel says that compared with previous generations Gen Z is having less sex and becoming increasingly isolated - and the more time spent online is resulting in less time spent on the skills, experience or patience that help make a relationship work.

This episode with Esther Perel was originally broadcast September 8th, 2024

The rise in distrust and cynicism is a central theme in the book Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, by Stanford psychologist Jamil Zaki. Zaki explains that cynicism is not just human nature, it is directly impacted by our environment. “If you look across both space and time, inequality and cynicism track one another,” Zaki says. “So in more unequal nations, states, and counties people trust each other a lot less. In times that have been more unequal, people have generally trusted each other a lot less than during more egalitarian times.”

What we hear in the media on a daily basis also feeds our fears and disillusionment, fostering distrust. “There's something known as ‘mean world syndrome,’” Zaki continues. “The more that people tune into the news, whether it's on their phones, on the radio, on television — the worse they think people are. You might go the realist route and say, ‘well, yeah, because they're informed.’ But it turns out that the more that people tune into the news, the more wrong they are about others.” 

Zaki, who also directs the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab, explains that there’s some science pointing to the fact that cynicism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Human beings are psychologically adaptive, we are molded by our environment,” Zaki says. “And so if you're in an environment where it feels like people can't trust each other, where people have to look out only for themselves, then you will become mistrustful. You will become more selfish.”

Tania Israel, professor of counseling psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation, says the remedy for dealing with people we don’t agree with is not to disengage or set boundaries. Instead, she suggests a three-pronged approach to bring about a less contentious dialogue. First, to reduce our consumption of negativity from our phones and TV. Second, broaden our own capacity for understanding and empathizing. For example, Israel says: “We so seldom say, ‘here's what I'm thinking, these are the limits of my understanding. What am I missing?’ And really inviting something that's outside of what we have been focusing on in terms of information or narrative.”  

Finally, Israel advocates for engaging with your community — participating and demonstrating that you are open. “Not to say that we need to change our minds,” Israel points out. “Or not to say that we need to agree with where that other person is coming from, but to always want to know where they're coming from. More is a great stance to be in.”  

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

This week Robin Stern, psychoanalyst, and author of “The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life,” talks about gaslight effect.  What to watch for in a relationship or perhaps with a manager, coworker or doctor and how to succesfully navigate the feelings of invalidation that accompany that behavior.  

This episode with Robin Stern was originally broadcast July 14th 2024