Life Examined

This week, Charles Duhigg, Pulitzer prize-winning reporter and author of Supercommunicators; How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection talks about why some people are just better at conversation and communication than others. Duhigg says conversations typically fall into three buckets; practical, emotional and social. Super communicators, Duhigg says, have the ability to listen for what kind of conversation is happening and are able to “match back.” The science behind this, as Duhigg explains it, is called  "neural entrainment" which turns out to be a key to bonding and cooperating with each other.

Jillian Turecki, renowned couples coach, host of the podcast, ‘Jillian On Love.’ and author “It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life”  unpacks some of the essential skills and habits needed to maintain long-term, healthy relationships. Turecki shares her own experience, marked by her husband's abandonment that prompted her obsession to find the essential ingredients that go into making a relationship work. Focusing on some of the little things that are fundamental to building a long term relationship, Turecki also highlights the importance of self-awareness, pattern recognition, and the distinction between lust and love. And when it comes to modern dating, Tureck’s advice is to not write someone off too soon and instead of relying on dating apps, suggests being proactive and resourceful in meeting people face to face, such as volunteering or joining groups. 

Guest:

Jillian Turecki

Relationship coach, host of the podcast, ‘Jillian On Love.’ and author “It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life.”

This week, Robin Wall Kimmerer, Indigenous ecologist and author of “The Serviceberry: An Economy of Gifts and Abundance,” talks about the virtues of the ‘gift economy,” and explains that gifting is instinctive in the natural world and has been the way of life with Indigenous cultures who have found that relying on each other is mutually beneficial. When one group or person shares their resources, they have the shared understanding that there is always reciprocity down the road.

Alex Hutchinson, award-winning journalist and author “The Explorer’s Gene: Why We Seek Big Challenges, New Flavors, and the Blank Spots on the Map,” discusses the reasons behind human exploration. Hutchinson talks about the historical significance of human exploration and delves into the neuroscience and psychology behind why we are driven to test the limits of our abilities and to expand our knowledge. Hutchinson expands on the  significant role dopamine plays in providing the fuel and desire and the ‘free energy principle’, which suggests humans seek to minimize surprise and uncertainty. Hutchinson shares his own personal stories, along with what we can learn about exploration from observing children at play and says it’s crucial to maintain some exploration for personal growth and fulfillment especially as we grow older.  

Guest:

Alex Hutchinson , 

Writer, award-winning journalist who covers the science of endurance and author “The Explorer’s Gene: Why We Seek Big Challenges, New Flavors, and the Blank Spots on the Map,” and “Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance.”

This week, Jennifer Senior, New York Times opinion writer and author “All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood,”  discusses the impact of having children on life satisfaction and meaning.  Citing the psychologist and behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman’s work on the "experiencing self" versus the "remembering self," Senior says that while parenting can be exhausting in the moment, most often later on in life, the years raising kids are fondly remembered. While there’s no easy answer to big life decisions, like having kids, Senior suggests that most often in life, we regret the actions we did not take rather than the ones we did - and Senior says, if you’re sitting on the fence, that may be reason enough.  

Lisa Damour, psychologist and author of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents,” addresses some of the common perceptions and misconceptions around raising teens. Damour addresses the impact of social media and societal pressures on teen mental health and advocates for a balanced approach, acknowledging both the benefits and potential risks associated with digital engagement. Despite societal concerns about social media and mental health, Damour says parents today are raising the safest generation of teens on record - less pregnancy, smoking, drinking and accidents. Damour suggests parents can support their adolescents through their formative years by validating their children's feelings, and providing a stable presence. Establishing trusting relationships and maintaining active involvement in their lives can help teens navigate challenges more effectively.

Guest:

Lisa Damour. Psychologist and author of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents.” 

This week, journalist and author of The Explorers Gene:Why We Seek Big Challenges, New Flavors, and the Blank Spots on the Map,” Alex Hutchinson tackles something athletes and sports enthusiasts think about all the time; how to break through physical barriers. Hutchinson suggests that athletic milestones, and he uses the example of Roger Bannister breaking the 4-minute mile, often have little to do with physical ability and skill, but what holds us back is a lack of belief. 

Owen Flanagan, professor of philosophy and neurobiology at Duke University and author of “What Is It Like to Be an Addict? Understanding Substance Abuse” reflects on his life as an alcoholic and explores the brain science and individual complexities behind why we become addicted. Flanagan addresses the role of the individual and agency and is critical of those who maintain that addiction is a disease of the brain. When it comes to treatment, Flanagan says community, compassion and love are key factors in maintaining long term sobriety.

Guest:

Owen Flanagan 

Professor of philosophy and neurobiology at Duke University and author of “What Is It Like to Be an Addict? Understanding Substance Abuse.” 

This week, polar scientist, explorer and author of “Life Lessons From Explorers: Learn how to weather life’s storms from history’s greatest explorers” Felicity Aston reflects on her experience of leading a failed North Pole expedition and the time it’s taken her to face and process that failure. Aston uses the example of the historical Scottish explorer David Livingston to show how much can be gained from time and perspective and to illustrate the challenge of balancing success and failure in exploration and in life.  

Felicity Aston Polar scientist, first woman to ski solo across Antarctica and author of “Life Lessons From Explorers: Learn how to weather life’s storms from history’s greatest explorers.” and “Polar Exposure: An All-Women’s Expedition to the North Pole.”  

This week, psychologist and author of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents,” Lisa Damour addresses one of the toughest challenges in parenting - communicating and connecting with teenage children. When it comes to exactly what that means, Damour suggests that parents typically see communicating with their teens as an opportunity to impose their ideas or agendas and that’s a mistake.  What most kids want is to be able to share what they enjoy with their parents - like music. Day to day, teens communicate best when there is a steady presence and when parents communicate with comfort and empathy and without an agenda.

David Whyte, poet and author of “Consolations II: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words,” reflects on the transformative power of the poetry and its ability to rekindle our emotions - from anguish and anxiety, to death, humor and joy. Whyte shares personal experiences, time spent in the Himalayas, and the vital role that humor, laughter and a daily blessing have on his life.

This week, writer and author of Splinters: Another Kind of Love Story, Leslie Jamison reflects on her childhood marriage fantasy and says when it comes to love and marriage we all want that perfect Hollywood ending. However all too often marriages don’t actually work like that but Jamison points out that even when the love is gone from a marriage - as she saw with her own parents, the mutual respect and friendship remained..and that too can be an equally wonderful gift. 

Episode description: Jonathan Bastian talks with Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, professor of psychology and neuroscience and director of the Emotion Regulation Lab at Hunter College, about the anxiety epidemic and her book “Future Tense; Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad).”

“Anxiety is a feature of being human,” Dennis-Tiwary says. “It’s not a bug, it's not a malfunction. We can learn and work through it.” 

Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

Baratunde Thurston, comedian, writer and host of the TV series “America Outdoors,” on PBS reflects on life growing up in Mount Pleasant, Washington DC and how his mother instilled a passion for all things outdoors. Thurston explains why there’s such a misconception around the outdoors being a “white space,”  the complex relationship Black people have to the land and the influence Indigenous communities had on teaching us how to live with one another and in harmony with nature.

This week, Kenneth Miller, writer and author of "Mapping the Dark; The Visionary Scientists Who Unlocked The Mysteries of Sleep," offers a practical approach for insomniacs. Instead of investing in expensive gadgets, technology, pillows or pharmaceuticals, which can have the side effect of making us even more anxious, examine the root of your sleep problem. The key to getting a good night's rest may lie in simple and cost effective solutions- like regular sleep habits, exercise or reducing caffeine.

Ruha Benjamin, sociologist and professor of African American Studies at Princeton University discusses the concept of "us topia" as an alternative between dystopia and utopia, which accomodates shaping the future through collective agency. Benjamin says technology also can play a role in representing the public good and shares the example of Barcelona’s Decidim app which promotes democratic participation in city governance. Aaron Robertson, author and writer talks about the utopian ideal and how it influenced a group of Black thinkers, artists and political leaders in the 1960’s.

Guests:

Ruha Benjamin

Professor of African American Studies at Princeton University, Founding Director of the Ida B. Wells JUST Data Lab, and author of Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code,"  Other books include  Imagination: A Manifesto, Viral Justice, People’s Science 

Aaron Robertson

Writer, editor, and author of “The Black Utopians:Searching for Paradise and the Promised Land in America.”  

This week, Amir Levine, associate professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and co-author of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love, explains why people with secure attachment styles are not only more loving, trusting and easier to live with but why choosing to be around ‘secures’ can modulate our own behavior and help us in turn become more secure.   

Lewis Cohen, a psychiatrist and dementia researcher and Jeff Zesiger, a hospice specialist, discuss the complexities of end-of-life decisions for dementia patients. Cohen, talks about the subject of his book “Winter’s End: Dementia and Dying Well,” Dan Winter who decided to end his life at 61 due to early-onset dementia. Zesiger highlights the challenges of making end-of-life choices with dementia, noting the conundrum in that the six month requirement for medical aid in dying does not apply. Dan’s husband, John Forsgren, talks about Dan’s certainty and uncompromising approach to life and says it was Dan’s wish to share his story and advocate for great patient autonomy.  

Guests:

Lewis Cohen : Psychiatrist and dementia researcher at Tufts University School of Medicine in Springfield, Massachusetts and author of “Winter’s End: Dementia and and Dying Well" 

Jeff Zesiger: Hospice & palliative specialist in Springfield, Massachusetts.  Serves on the board of the Massachusetts Death with Dignity Committee. 

Jon Forsgren: spouse of Dan Winter

This week, Kelsey Johnson, astronomer and author of  Into the Unknown:The Quest to Understand the Mysteries of the Cosmos talks about the Cosmos and the moral necessity of exploring existential questions about it’s and our existence. Johnson says nurturing our curiosity and cultivating a deeper connection with the stars in the night sky helps us gain a greater perspective of who we are and our place in the Cosmos. 

This episode of Life Examined with Kelsey Johnson was broadcast January 5th 2025 

Guest:

Kelsey Johnson

Professor of astronomy at the University of  Virginia and author of “Into the Unknown:The Quest to Understand the Mysteries of the Cosmos.”  Also former president of the American Astronomical Society and founder of the award-winning Dark Skies, Bright Kids program.  

This week, Alex Hutchison, writer and author of  Endure and The Explorer’s Gene: Why We Seek Big Challenges, New Flavors, and the Blank Spots on the Map, talks about the Arrival Fallacy - that what we expect to feel after we accomplish a goal like getting a promotion or running a marathon sometimes doesn’t quite match up with our expectations. Rather than seeking a life changing transformation, Hutchinsons says to focus on the satisfaction and joy that’s gained from the process of achievement and not necessarily the outcome.

This week, Brad Stulberg writer and author of “Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing - Including You,” shares hopeful observations from the aftermath of Hurricane Helene and reminds us that it takes time, sometimes months to recover from a large trauma but that given time despair will turn to resilience and people are able to move forward.