Inside Out - the Holidays and Dementia

One in ten older Americans lives with dementia. Maybe this includes people you love. If so, being flexible and even making a few changes to the way you celebrate the holidays could help everyone feel more comfortable around the table this year.

“We have to realize that due to the changes in the brain, the person is trying to interpret their environment. So, being part of a social event may be upsetting or confusing or stressful,” says Phil Shippers, program director for the Rochester & Finger Lakes Region of the Alzheimer’s Association.

“I think the biggest thing is to be flexible, and perhaps to change our expectations,” he says. “Maybe we try new things. And we want to do this to reduce commotion, to reduce noise and activity, to make the person living with dementia feel more comfortable.”

Even if we’re not organizing the gathering, Shippers says there are practical things we can do to help our loved one living with dementia enjoy the time together. “One of the suggestions that we make is that when people approach the person living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, that they introduce themselves,” he says. “And it doesn’t have to be formal or stuffy. You can just make light of it, saying, ‘Oh, this is your favorite grandson Patrick.’”

We want to preserve each person’s dignity and demonstrate our love. Along the way, Shippers points out, we will make mistakes. “Give yourself some grace as well,” he says. “And just be as positive and really enjoy the moment as much as you can.”

Listen to our Inside Out podcast, where Phil Shippers lists a number of practical ways to make gatherings more comfortable.

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